I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
