so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
