somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
