it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
