I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
