My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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