Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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