He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize