In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize