Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
