I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
