If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
