youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
