I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize