After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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