The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
