So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
