I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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