dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Randomize
