We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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