I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
