You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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