We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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