How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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