She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Small penises have feelings too.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
