I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
