Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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