Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
