she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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