Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
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No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
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Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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