1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
