just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
