i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
