The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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