WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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