Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
