i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
