Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize