That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
