just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
