he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
