I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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