Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
