So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize