Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
