so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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