There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
