I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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