Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
