I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
