i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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