Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She announced her abortion via fbk
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
