My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
