that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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