Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
