tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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