Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
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So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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