Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants