I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left