One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends