I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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