sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.