Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Everything about him screamed your future.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum

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(239): View more from Florida

Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...

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(813): View more from Florida

Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(509): View more from Washington

Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore

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(847): View more from Illinois

Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror

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(440): View more from Ohio

You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.

(1-480): View more from Arizona

I have to. For the sake of science.

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