you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
