Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
